Sweet Dreams
by The Cuteness
Summary: Usagi reached up to feel her cheek. There was definitely a bruise there. That night, Gohan had kept her out a little bit longer and when she got home, her dad was wide awake and waiting for her.


Hey all! I am way sorry dat I haven't been posting. Please don't hurt me! N E wayz, I'm going through some problems right now, which have caused some major writers block. Sooo, 2 get rid of it, I am writing some really pointless, but based on something true, in some way, short fics.

Disclaimer: I don't own nothin! Stop harassing me.

WARNING: If you do not like Usagi being betrayed as suicidal, depressed, in denial, a druggie, or anything along the lines of that, then you should not read this.

Now on with the fic....

Sweet Dreams, My Princess

Today was a day of mourning. The sky was dark and the world was filled with silence.

It was raining.

Why?

Because the angels were crying.

Why?

Because someone so pure, so precious, couldn't hold on anymore.

Why?

Because what was there to live for?

Let me tell you a story. Don't get cozy and wonder what kind of happily ever after story I'm about to tell because this story is far from being happy.

Usagi held up her shirt to stare at the ugly purple bruise on her stomach. She touched it lightly and winced as a pain shot up her chest and back down. She shook her head and pulled her shirt back down. Well, that was the price she paid for staying out so late. It seemed like her stepfather was drowning out his misery in beer more often. Her mother was often gone, working late hours so that she didn't have to come home and watch him take out his rage on the nearest person.

Usagi walked out of the bathroom and laid on her bed, staring at the ceiling. She felt like her life was wasting away. Pretty soon, her mom would be moving out. She wanted to go with her so badly, but she couldn't. Apparently, her stepfather had a powerful hold on her mother. He dictated everything that happened. If you don't do what he says, you get punishment.

She laughed bitterly.

This wasn't how she had pictured her life. She wished that she could go back in time, rewind back to when her life was perfect. When she was happy, when she was with her daddy. But she couldn't just stop and rewind. It seemed like everything went in fast forward now. From the time when her parents divorced up until the time her mother remarried and started a new family.

She laughed again.

This wasn't a family. This wasn't a REAL family. Yeah, when they went out in public, everything was fine. They were the perfect family. The perfect mommy and daddy. The perfect two sons and the perfect daughter. The perfect everything.

But...

But when they were home, everything was different. Her perfect stepfather was a drunk. Her perfect stepbrothers were constantly either on drugs or in jail. Her perfect mother was never home.

And her...

Well, she was nothing. Usagi was just herself. Why was she thinking about this stuff? It didn't mean anything to her. Everybody and everything was just fake.

She let her mind wander and began to think about her daddy. A tear slide down her cheek. She missed her daddy so much. She could still remember that sunny day. Her daddy had invited her over for the day because once again her mom was going to be working late. She remembered her daddy always had this lost look. Like he was confused about something. They were watching a movie when he suddenly got up. She looked at him, confusion written all over her face. He smiled and told her he loved her very much while kissing her forehead. He hugged her and went upstairs. She continued to watch the movie until she heard a noise. It reminded her of a firecracker. She called for her daddy, but he didn't answer. She panicked and went upstairs to his study room. She pushed opened the door and just stared at him. Her daddy was sitting behind the desk in his chair. His eyes were open and he was smiling. Just smiling. Smiling even when the blood was dripping from the hole in his head, the gun sitting neatly in his lap.

Usagi remembered smiling. It was okay. He was just daydreaming. He was happy, even with the blood dripping all over his expensive looking suit. It was okay. Even when her mommy picked her up early and she was crying, telling Usagi that her daddy had gone to a better place. She smiled, telling her mommy it was okay, daddy was going to come back and get them.

That was the day when her perfect little world crumbled and reality came crashing down on her. There were days when she would lock herself in her room, going days without food, and pushing everyone farther away from her. No one understood the pain that she felt, not even her own mother. Usagi was alone and nothing was ever going to change that.

Usagi knew that there was only one way to escape this hellhole. She would be just like her daddy. She now understood what he had been doing. He was just escaping. Going to sleep, but never waking up. Usagi sat up in her bed, staring at the bottle of pills on her dresser. She remembered her daddy had to take pills just like that.

Usagi sighed loudly, deciding that she felt restless and needed something to do. She got up and slipped on some shoes. She pulled on her jacket and stuffed the bottle of pills in her pocket. She slowly opened her door, trying to make as little noise as she could. Her stepfather, Wufei, was asleep and she didn't want him to wake up. She walked down the stairs past the living room were her two brothers, Trunks and Quatre, were watching TV.

" Where are you going?" she heard Trunks ask.

"No where" she replied.

"Yes you are. You don't get dressed to go no where" Quatre said.

"I'm going to get fresh air," She told them.

"You know, dad's going to get mad," Quatre said.

"I don't give a fuck. I should be back in two hours," she said before closing the door.

In Gohan's small apartment....

"Gohan, I feel like I'm nothing. Like I'm not good enough" Usagi said as she stared at her boyfriend. Gohan smiled.

"Why do you feel like that?" he asked her, trying to hug her, but she pulled away. Gohan stared at her face.

"Is Wufei still hurting you?"

Usagi unconsciously touched her stomach before she walked to stand in front of the window. She didn't even know why she was telling him this. She didn't want to drag the last person who meant the world to her into her hell.

" You know, I deserve everything that I get," she said.

Gohan frowned. He hated when she would get like this. He knew that she was depressed, but that wasn't her fault. He didn't even know what he would do if his dad was gone.

"Usagi, you don't deserve any of this. Why...why do you feel like that?" he asked her.

" Everything I love, everything I touch...it all just crumbles away. I deserve to be alone.... that's why..."

"That's why, what?"

"Nothing"

"No, what is it?"

"It's nothing, okay? Just forget everything that I've said", she said, frustrated.

Gohan sighed in defeat.

"Fine, I'll drop it".

Usagi sighed. She didn't know why she was pushing him away. She loved him so much that it hurt. He was only trying to help her.

"Gohan, you want to know the real me?" she whispered.

"Only if you'll let me," he said.

Usagi turned around to face him. All she ever wanted was to be loved. For someone to be there when she needed them. For someone to understand her and not judge her by her mistakes. Gohan was that someone and unless she started to open up, she was going to lose him.

" The real me is the opposite of the Usagi you know. The Usagi you know is always happy. She's full of energy, smart, confidant, self-assured, and feels loved. She's the light. The real me is... I'm not happy. I'm not happy at all. I feel alone. My feelings mean nothing. I'll look out for the happiness of others, but my happiness.... there is none.... I feel like..."

"What? Usa, please don't shut me out. I want to be there for you, but I can't be if you don't tell me how you feel."

Usagi laughed.

"You know, you're the only person that I've ever told any of this to".

"Really" Gohan asked.

"Yep. You're the only person that makes me feel special. Like I'm the only ...."

"What? Tell me" he asked.

"Like I'm the only one you'll love," she whispered.

She was the only one he said he would love. She laughed bitterly. If only that had been true. If only she didn't love him so much. If only she hadn't opened up her heart to him, pour out her soul only to have him crush it in his hands. If only he hadn't been her first. She didn't think he had meant to do it. In her eyes, she wasn't even pretty, but it was okay. She deserved everything that she got. Everything. It was okay. Soon no on had to deal with her. Soon, she wouldn't exist. Soon.... she would escape.

Usagi reached up to feel her cheek. There was definitely a bruise there. That night, Gohan had kept her out a little bit longer and when she got home, her dad was wide awake and waiting for her. But again, it was okay. Everything was fine. Wufei had done worse to her than this, now that she was the only one living with him.

Alone.

She was alone once again, just like she had figured. Her mommy was gone. Her brothers were back in jail again and she was left alone to deal with her stepfather. No one was going to help her. But it was okay.

Usagi climbed into her bed, blood slowly dripping from her slit wrists. She was already feeling drozy from taking to many sleeping pills. She laid in her bed, thinking about all she had been through and that soon she would escape.

Once upon a time ago, there had been a perfect little girl. She had the perfect mommy and daddy, the perfect big brothers, the perfect everything. But soon, her perfect little life crumbled. Her life had become a living hell ever since the day her daddy committed suicide. But in the end, it was okay. Soon she would be with her daddy. Soon she would escape from this nightmare. She remembered her daddy once telling her "Sweet dreams, my princess". She smiled and slowly her eyes closed.

Sweet dreams....

Sooo, what did ya'll think of this. It's really depressing, but I guess that's just my style. R&R please!


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